


the altar is her hips

by xslytherclawx



Series: Chanukah 5780 [3]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Canon Jewish Character, Cunnilingus, F/F, Friends With Benefits, Hanukkah, Harry Potter Rare Pair Bingo: Round 1, Jewish Holiday, Minor Tina Goldstein/Newt Scamander
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:28:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21895147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xslytherclawx/pseuds/xslytherclawx
Summary: It was just like Tina to not understand.
Relationships: Queenie Goldstein/Vinda Rosier
Series: Chanukah 5780 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1562047
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22
Collections: All Your Faves Are Jewish, Harry Potter Rare Pair Bingo: Round One!, xslytherclawx's Prompt Collection, xslytherclawx's jewish fic, xslytherclawx’s events collection





	the altar is her hips

**Author's Note:**

> this was written for one of my prompts for [harry potter rare pair bingo](http://hprarepairbingo.tumblr.com/) \- M057: "False God" by Taylor Swift

It was just like Tina to not understand. It wasn’t even like her boyfriend wasn’t a goy, too! As much as Queenie  _ adored _ Newt (and he  _ was _ kind of perfect for Tina), it wasn’t like she was the only one of the two of them who wasn’t dating a Nice Jewish Boy (or Nice Jewish Girl).

But no. Tina had decided that she didn’t like Vinda on principle.

Tina was judgey like that.

Newt tried to tell Queenie that Tina would come around, but Queenie knew Tina better than Newt ever would. Tina wouldn’t come around until she could say “I told you so”, and Queenie wasn’t going to give her the opportunity.

Besides, it wasn’t like Vinda was her  _ girlfriend. _ Which might have been part of Tina’s problem. She could be so old-fashioned! Queenie didn’t think Tina had ever slept with anyone — guy or girl — that she hadn’t been dating first. And maybe that worked for her, but Queenie  _ wasn’t _ Tina.

“You’re so lucky you don’t have a sister,” Queenie said to Vinda. She knew that Vinda had invited her over to have sex, and  _ not _ talk about their feelings, but, well, Queenie couldn’t help it. Tina had been over the top today. “Sisters are so  _ annoying.” _

“Brothers aren’t any better,” Vinda said.

“She’s just so – listen, she can boss Newt around all she wants. He seems to  _ like _ it, for some reason. But she thinks she can just boss me around like we’re still kids. I’m an adult. We’re all adults here. If I’m making a mistake, then that’s my mistake to make – not hers.”

Rather than say anything, Vinda leaned in and kissed her.

“I don’t get what Newt sees in her,” Queenie said.

Vinda frowned. “Must we talk about your sister?”

“I’m frustrated,” Queenie said. “Like, I understand she and Newt are both career-obsessed bisexual idiots who don’t know how to talk to people – they suit each other, really. And, fine, they’re not idiots. But Newt’s so – I  _ like _ Newt. I mean, not like that. He’s too skinny. I don’t like it when  _ men _ are skinny.”

Vinda stood up, and for a second, Queenie thought she was going to leave. She didn’t. In one fluid motion, she took off her dress. Because it was Vinda, and because they’d already agreed on meeting up tonight, she wasn’t wearing anything underneath, and if Queenie were honest, the sight of Vinda completely naked still kind of took her breath away.

Vinda knew what she was doing.

“Are we going to fuck or not?”

“Yeah,” Queenie said. “Shit, sorry.” She pulled her own clothes off as quickly as possible.

Queenie had never thought of herself as a particularly submissive person before, but there was something about Vinda.

Vinda sat in her lap and kissed her. Vinda worked quickly; Queenie had only just buried one of her hands in Vinda’s hair when Vinda cupped her breasts. Queenie knew the rules by now: Vinda would get her off first, and then she was allowed to return the favour.

Vinda trailed kisses down Queenie’s neck as she massaged her breasts, and before Queenie knew it, Vinda’s hot mouth was on her left breast as she sucked. Queenie moaned her name, but she stayed as still as possible. Vinda liked to try to make her squirm, and Queenie was going to make her work for it. She stayed still as Vinda kissed and sucked; she stayed still as Vinda slid one finger between her folds, stroking her. She stayed still as Vinda massaged her clit. She stayed still as Vinda slid a finger inside of her – then two, then three.

It took concentrated effort, of course. Queenie wasn’t going to lie and say that it was easy, but it was worth it.

She was so close – on the edge of an orgasm, and then Vinda bit down on her nipple, and that was all it took.

When Queenie came back to herself, Vinda looked like the cat that had caught the canary.

“Oh, you think I’m done with you?” Queenie said. 

“After that? Yes.”

Queenie grinned. “Not even close.”

She flipped Vinda onto the bed, and kissed her way down Vinda’s body. Queenie liked to do things differently than Vinda. She all but worshipped her. She kissed and nipped her way to Vinda writhing in the sheets before Queenie had even made it to her waist. She circled her tongue around Vinda’s nipples, dragged kisses along the underside of her breasts, made her shake and moan and pull at her hair.

Once she was satisfied that Vinda knew just what she’d done, she made her way further down. She spread Vinda’s legs and placed a featherlight kiss on her inner upper thigh as she ghosted her fingers along Vinda’s folds.

And then – well, Queenie always was good with her mouth. She spread Vinda open with her fingers, and tasted her. She worked circles around Vinda’s clit, and then when Vinda was just at the edge, Queenie pulled back to look at her.

“You fucking  _ bitch,” _ Vinda hissed.

Queenie kissed her. “That’s not very nice.” But she kissed her way back down Vinda’s body and finished what she’d started.

* * *

“Fuck,” Queenie said, checking her phone.

“What is it?” Vinda asked.

After they’d had sex, things with Vinda were always much more relaxed. It was almost like they were normal friends. Friends who had never seen each other naked.

“Tina wants me to come home. It’s Chanukah.”

“That sounds important.”

Queenie rolled her eyes. “It’s the third night, so not really. It’s not even Shabbat. It’s  _ Tuesday.” _

“You should probably go, anyway,” Vinda said. “You know what a bitch she’ll be if you don’t.”

Queenie heaved a dramatic sigh. “I  _ guess.” _ But then she had an idea. “Why don’t you come with me?”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, it’ll piss her off, but she won’t say anything in front of Newt. But she’ll have Newt, and I’ll have – my friend with benefits. Who’s a shiksa, at that.”

“You really want to fuck in your sister’s apartment?”

“Well, it’s my apartment, too. Why not?”

* * *

It was worth it for the look on Tina’s face alone. “Vinda,” she said evenly. “I didn’t realise we were expecting you.”

“We weren’t,” Queenie said, “but you interrupted us in the middle of a sex marathon, so I asked her to come.”

Newt, standing only a few feet away, politely pretended as if he wasn’t hearing any of this.

“Newt, honey!” Queenie called, and then he looked up.

“Queenie, hello. And – it’s Vinda, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Vinda said, going in for la bise. “Newt?”

Newt was red (and so was Tina but in a different way). “Er, yes. I’m, er, Tina’s boyfriend.”

“Two years,” Tina said.

“Best relationship of my life,” Newt said. “Tina is – well, there’s no one else quite like her.”

“No,” Queenie agreed. “No one’s quite like Teenie.”

“Do you – Vinda, do you have siblings?”

“Two brothers,” Vinda said. “Older. They’re assholes.”

“I’ve got an older brother, too,” Newt said. “Just one in my case. I couldn’t imagine two.”

“Theseus isn’t that bad,” Queenie said. “A little stiff and boring, maybe, but not that bad. Besides, you’re dating Tina. I don’t think stiff and boring is as bad to you as it is to me.”

“Queenie,” Tina warned.

“Theseus isn’t bad,” Newt agreed. “But he  _ is _ a hugger, and Tina – though absolutely not stiff  _ or _ boring – has always been quite excellent at respecting my boundaries. The only other people I’ve met who’s done that, well…”

“Oh, yes,” Queenie said. “Might as well address the elephant in the room. How  _ is _ Jacob?”

Newt looked like he regretted even bringing it up. “He’s doing well. He, er, sends his regards.”

“Tell him he can go fuck himself,” Queenie said.

“Yeah, I probably won’t do that,” Newt said. “No offense, of course.”

“None taken, Newt, sweetie,” Queenie said. “Now, Tina, can we light the candles and get this over with so I can go back to eating Vinda out?”

Tina rolled her eyes. “I don’t know why you think that offends me. Or Newt. We’re  _ both _ bisexual, too. But yes. We can light the candles.”

It took only a few minutes, and then Tina and Newt settled in on the sofa for a night in, so Queenie took Vinda back to her room.

Her chanukiah was still in the window from the night before, so now, with the door safely shut behind her, she replaced the candles, said a quick blessing, and lit one candle for each night before turning back to Vinda. 

“Sorry about that.”

“You know,” Vinda said. “If you’d rather watch a movie…”

“No,” Queenie said. “I’d rather eat you out.”

Vinda smiled. “Who am I to argue with that?”

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit me on [tumblr](http://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com)!  
> Please feel free to join my [Harry Potter discord server](https://discord.gg/yb6bS3c)!


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